So, tell me something about yourself..

au•ton•o•mous : ...well, i like slow music and vibrant paintings
HIM: lol
au•ton•o•mous : moving backwards in a sea of everyone moving foward
au•ton•o•mous : cant be engulfed in the bullshit that life throws at you
au•ton•o•mous : so i find solice in being alone
au•ton•o•mous : many friends = many issues.
au•ton•o•mous : unnecessary
au•ton•o•mous : but i digress
au•ton•o•mous : whatre you doing
HIM: talking to u pa
au•ton•o•mous : oh okay
HIM: so whats ur favorite part on a males body that u just love
au•ton•o•mous : well let me know if i got to far of in left feild
au•ton•o•mous : fav part
au•ton•o•mous : that i just love.
au•ton•o•mous : in thE males physical body?
au•ton•o•mous : or the male overall
HIM: ummm both
au•ton•o•mous : well the male body physically...
au•ton•o•mous : id have to say ...
au•ton•o•mous : that i cannot say
au•ton•o•mous : theres not a one location on a males physical body
au•ton•o•mous : that i can claim as my favorite
au•ton•o•mous : the males physical body in itself is a blessing to me
au•ton•o•mous : something to be cherished.
au•ton•o•mous : much like with being intimate
au•ton•o•mous : you cannot
au•ton•o•mous : well I cannot just focus on one part, the penis the ass the mouth
au•ton•o•mous : it would be like...
au•ton•o•mous : looking at a painting
au•ton•o•mous : split in half
au•ton•o•mous : how can you appreciate the piece how it was intended if you are only seing half
au•ton•o•mous : half of what the artist had in mind
au•ton•o•mous : thats the physical
au•ton•o•mous : but as far as the overall. i can say that i dont have a favorite
au•ton•o•mous : but there are certain things that i like
au•ton•o•mous : one of which being the mans capacity for love
au•ton•o•mous : a man steriotypically is afraid to show emotion
au•ton•o•mous : so when a man actually does show his feelings
au•ton•o•mous : however good or bad it is and should be memorable
au•ton•o•mous : the capasity that we have for love as an umbrella of emothioss
au•ton•o•mous : the sense of protection
au•ton•o•mous : even a quote unquote "bottom" has the sense of aggressive protection for his mate
au•ton•o•mous : and his security
au•ton•o•mous : not always looking to be taken care of , as women are[steriotypically anyways]
au•ton•o•mous : ill stop there
au•ton•o•mous : ...
HIM: wow!!
au•ton•o•mous : wow?
HIM: you can go on forever..u just bacame THAT MUCH MORE sexy to me***..I think I love ur mind., and the way u think
au•ton•o•mous : well thank you so much for listening, and posing the initial question
HIM: no problem , it's just a question
HIM: lol
au•ton•o•mous : it wasnt though...lol
au•ton•o•mous : not many ppl even care
au•ton•o•mous : nor act like they care..so
au•ton•o•mous : or if they ask its about sex
HIM: ive posed that question before to several men..and ur answer was by far the best i've ecer received

-au•ton•o•mous

Not so funny story...

This morning, while doing my usual-"massive online job search" sending out resume to job after job after job, I got one big slap across the face. It went a lil like this:

Good Morning "autonomous":
I actually have a resume writing and interview consulting service.If you would like some help with your resume, I charge $59, with half due now and half due upon completion to your satisfaction.We can meet in person or via phone to discuss what types of positions/companies you are targeting which will help to tailor your resume to attract prospective employers. I look forward to working with you.

email
phone number

&& here i thought i knew what i was doing, guess it's back to the drawing board

-au•ton•o•mous

Dating in the City: This Week

::Moment of Silence for Bernie Mac who passed this morning::

Its been a lil minute i know. I would love to give exact detail of the events thatve been going on...BUT...deaing with the University has been really really kicking my ass. When I wake up all i do is job search online and loan search online. I mean i do have the life I live in between that but thats what im focused on at the moment.

When We Last Left...

Mr. Rico did the same thing again. The no show of it all. I mean he's a really nice guy and I appreciate him. I just cannot stand the inconsistantness of it all. He did pop up later than anticipated, I let him know just like i did befor that "popping up" IS NOT the best thing to do, what if i wasnt here, or what if i was here entertaining guest. On top of all that I DONT DO POP UPS unless your being chased by some axe murderer and im the only option[or something dramatic like that] you don't just STOP BY my place. I will say that I must like him more than i thought. His visit was rather enjoyable. We had fun, did the chillin thing and that was that. All that was earlier in the week-dont ask me the specific day or detail, like I said this University drama has my days running together. One week to me is one long day.

Mr. Handsome though, we've kept in touch. talking all the time. Our conversation has grew and hit on so many different subjects. We've been throwing tips at one anther as it protains to our talents and field of interest. Even with all that I was surprised when he told me to meet him at Lennox Square one morning. I met him there and the day took off. It felt good to have someone take and do for me for a change, beneath this attitude and rough outlook on relationships lies a very emotional man. Something that I DO NOT reveal to people. We ended up at his loft over in Atlantic Station-WONDERFUL VIEW[especially at night]

Fast Foward>> Last Night id spent the day working online, doing the usual and giving myself a headache with the damn University work. I've met a few very nice older men who hold certain positions and have been really helpful. I am really appreciative, one of these mentors[thas what ill call them] offerend to come by and cook us dinner while we look over some files that were sent to me. I accepted but forgotton that I had already agreed to go to dinner with Mr. Handsome and his best friend earlier. So unforturnately I had to take a rain check.

Mr. Handsome, his friend and I headed to City Cafe' Diner for some late night food. It was the best that ive eaten in awhile. Now dont get too excited about it, that might've been simply because i haven't eaten in like four days..I KNOW I KNOW, that's not good everyone is telling me but I have other things thatre on my mind. The quesidilla that i ordered was Great, so if you get a chance to hit up City Cafe' after hours ask for Nichole, a beautiful tall dark skinned waitress who will treat you right. && please please give her a nice tip.

Mr. Handsome invitied me back to his condo to watch movies with his best friend and his date, I agreed & for whatever reason[possibly me eating more than what I shouldve] I fell asleep. I was dogg tired, had been up and going since the night before-with no rest. I woke up this morning with the Dallas Cowboys HBO show playing and saw that i was not the only one asleep. It was kind of funny, you have these four adult men laying around half asleep on this fine furniture with the light shining through the blinds laying on our bodies just so. We looked like a haute coutour concept comercial for Diesel + Bacardi lol. I saw that my phone had 12 missed calls from an Atlanta number, then I opened my text messages. I had one at 4:3something in the morning from that number, it was Mr. Rico-who was susposed to come by and spend the day with me that day but we all know how he opperates, should change his name to Mr. M.I.A. So i returned home this morning around 11:something. Got a call from Mr. Rico, he said he was in my area last night and wanted to take me to this latin club- as if we didn't already have plans...smh. Well he's susposed to be coming by today. I agreed to him coming but I really have lost my faith in his word.

So if he's truely planning on coming he should do so before something else comes up

-au•ton•o•mous

Dating in the City: did I leave anything out?

I met a nice young man sometime ago with an accent to die for, in my opinion anyways...lol. He's not from the u.s of a. but he's been here for some time. He's a very nice guy, a regular dude. A hard worker who comes from a lil bit of prestige. What's so funny is that our stories are somewhat similar: from the zodiac, to a few key struggles and personal issues[that's all ill hit on for now]. He's been a nice cool guy, in-the-know about certain things and people-other people who may be trying for my attention as well. What's interesting is that he and I are working hard to make it in the same industry. Meet Mr. Handsome, He's really good at what he does, VERY good at what he does. Although this phone is still set to embarassment mode that has not stopped us from communicating. Before going too far or saying too much ill place his story on To Be Continued--

Well the time is...well it dosent matter, what matters is that it's the evening, which means that the day has passed. I'm sitting here alone, not lonely, just alone. I've had a pretty quiet day, had a few conversations on the phone. Checked email pretty much all day. Watched iCarly and Kennan & Kel and a lil bit of The Food Network today. Made me a very American chicken sandwhich with fries and some cold drink. Listened to music. Talked to Mr. Handsome throughout the day. My younger sister called me and we did a lil bit of catching up.

Did I leave anything out..

Oh yeah, the day that was susposed to be spent with Mr. Rico, that was promised to be spent enjoying one anothers company is the day I just described[above], which means that Mr. Rico did not come through. Once again!

My interest is fading

-au•ton•o•mous

when the workday is done: Good Morning

The time is now a little after 5:3o in the am. Today was a long day starting early in the morning, me sleeping well. I woke up on the right side of the bed and everything, all felt good until I tried to call my mother then T.Mobile slapped me right in the face with a phone services is disconnected recording...smh. Needless to say I was hella pissed. This has never happened to me, and this was not my fault, that makes it that much more irritating. Take a note folks, this is why you dont have anyone els on your line BUT YOU. && family are some of those people that you dont let on your line. They are the reason I cannot make outgoing calls until further notice-very embarassing.

Later on in the day a good good friend of mines invited me out to a nice dinner for her birthday. It was a very nice and intimate affair at the chinese bistro P.F. Chang's. Laughter and spring rolls, and can someone please tell me whats the difference between egg rolls and spring rolls? If its the obvious answer that one has egg in it and the other dosent im going to scream...lol. Our waitress Karyn was quite a character, take Angelina Jolie-Pitt's looks and the personality of a saturday morning cartoon character. She was so ditzy and funny, had us laughin all night-and not intentionally, she was just really that funny. If you ever get to P.F. Chang's please request Karyn and you'll see why.

After dinner was over and the long ass highway ride[that wouldve been much shorter had we've just taken i75 like I suggested but im over it...]. I got a call to come up to Blake's so that I could roll on the floor laughing my ass off. && when i reached Blake's..boy did I laugh. There were so many fools and drag queens performing like you wouldnt believe...lol. I took a small cup of vodka and coke and the fun was amplified[Now in case i havent stated it already, I am not a drinker or smoker, i can hold my liquor but the instances where i drink are few and far between] We did meet a really cool guy though. He lives in Macon and graduated from my University. He impressed me with his moves on the dance floor. && I have to admit it's only because of the steriotype that white men have no rythm-oh yeah he was white.

Honestly ALOT happened at Blake's as well as the last few days since ive posted. In short-im sure there're things im going to skip over and possibly touch on in a later post. There was an unusually packed house tonight[unusual for me even though this is a new spot for me]. I've been working on the University work and getting financial aid moved around-major headache but should be worth it come graduation day. Mr. Rico and I have been doing some talking all has been pretty good, we both lead relatively hectic lives as it relates to spending quality time with one another-we're still learning each others schedules. We just got off of the phone during the start of this post and he's going to come and spend the day with me.

Not too much more to report, well there may be much more. im just a lil tired and the sun is playing peek-a-boo with my eyes, either that or the liquor was stronger than I thought it was.

Good Morning

-au•ton•o•mous

A Social Affair: when the workday is done

Last night was a good one indeed. I attended a social event, artisit of all types piled into the venue. It was nothing short of fantastic. I was impressed by all the work that adorned the walls and the different types of artist that came out-I was expecting only a specific type[shame on me right]. We[two of THE flyest socialites, and I] strolled in a lil later than expected. Atlantas weather must've been upset with everyone yesterday. The entire day was gloomy, with rain and dark clouds and the night got worst before it got better. Reguardless of that there was a wonderful turn out. I've been really good at spotting the real vs. the fake when it comes to talent-huh? you ask. Well last night, while lounging in VIP, we were approached by this very flamboyant woman. She was giving us this grand story of plans for the future and projects in the works, all the while im minding my own, getting into the live music. Everything she was trying to sell me on initially sounded alright in the beginning...UNTIL she continued to talk.

I started picking apart her stories, just in normal questions. The one thing that really stood out to me with her was all of the things she claimed to have been doing with this website and these playlist and this trend forcasting etc. etc. blah. blah blah. etc. So I asked her what was her url. She paused breifly then ignored my question and continued with the conversation. Now it was not my intent to embarass her, I was merely looking for some clarity, some understanding if you will. I feel that if you are actually living behind your words and arent lying then there should be no problem. Well I proceeded to ask more in depth questions about her plans. I simply asked her "Well what is your domain name"-same question as earlier just worded differently. && she tells me, with this look of disgust on her face, "Im just to busy to do all that right now" MIND YOU, a domain name is rougly between 10 and 12 dollars, and can be purchased and set up on an average of 10minutes. & in this day and age there're many ppl with blogs and twice as many with websites. So I, seeing what i'd done-embarassing her in front of everyone [purely accidental], ask her does she have a card then. Well she pulls out her business card and I notice that all that appears on her card is: one singular word-nightlife and her myspace url.
It took everything in my not to burst out in laughter.

You're so busy that you cannot take out 10 dollars and 10 minutes of your life to purchase an actual website but you can order business cards. that have nothing but a myspace url printed on them. When she passed them out...smh I just about fell over where I stood. I had to remove myself from the sitiuation, there were too many other people who actually had priorities and talent in order. I spent the rest of the night making small talk and exchanging contact information. All went well.

Sleep came about: 4:3o-ish [am.]

-au•ton•o•mous

Dating in the City: the charming Mr. Rico

Sunday and Monday were relatively busy days. My good good friend[call him kid.brother] came into town-we had some business to take care of on Monday. So i did a little preparing for him to get here, cleaned up, made a few phone calls and ordered some food. Mr. Rico informed me that he wanted to come back and see me this day as well-well that night. So I agreed that that was a pretty good idea. I remember falling asleep on the couch earlier and waking up later in the day to kid.brother calling me letting me know that he was catching a cab to the train station && for me to meet him there. This was all about 8:3o-ish, I went through my recent calls to see that Mr. Rico had in fact NOT called me. So I go to meet kid.brother and we catch up on the things we havent already discussed on the phone-we havent seen one another since everyone left for the summer[the end of May to be exact]. All this && still no call from Mr. Rico. Later that night during conversation I get the call from Mr. Rico, we talked about this, that and the other.

--Monday morning was a lil faster, kid.brother and I woke up early, got dressed and prepared for a very long day of...business to say the least. Met with our other good friend and headed out to the University. The day was filled with signing papers, gettin pin numbers, finding room assignments, speakers, seminars, bottled water, running here, running there, smiles and bad attitudes. Mr. Rico did good about contacting me throughout the day[via text]. When we were getting to the home stretch in this lil business day he called me. We talked while he was at work and I, once again, agreed to see him that night...smh

The day ends, we head back home. I loose myself in my friends for as long as I could but when we reach back to the condo my brother comes by to finish watching Mr. & Mrs. Smith with kid.brother and I, he ends up falling asleep as did kid.brother. Time passes a lil to slowly for me...again, no call from Mr. Rico. Now I get a text telling me that a few more people we know are going to stop by and see kid.brother befor he heads out in the morning. Now when I get this text a few things happen back to back:

-I wake my brother so that he can sleep in the other room because of the noise im sure our friends are going to make when they arrive.
-I get a call from a friend of mines. A really nice Jamaican guy who i've been emailing and instant messaging for awhile, trying to pick up with a relatively intimate conversation we placed on hold almost a week earlier.
-the friends come in loud and hyper-for adults anyways.

There's all this moving around, pulling out food from everywhere, cooking, the tv goes on mute and the music is turned up a lil louder. Of course the jamaican and I end our conversation for the time being, putting off that conversation for yet another day.
^{. . .}
After the friends leave, my brother leaves for work && kid.brother heads off to sleep I'm still up, with no call from Mr. Rico, now I know myself. I like attention and when im not getting it I will more than likely just leave it alone and move on-not necessarely to another person just on with my life. Like I said i dont deal with bullshit, im going to do everything that I can to make sure that im not left as the fool or feeling neglected. 11:o4 I get a text from Mr. Rico: whatre you doing?. 11:o7 I make a call instead of texting and his sister answers the phone telling me that he's at the store. So I decide then that im done and no longer give a damn about this lil "thing" we have going on. I turn off the lights and go to bed.

--Tuesday
autonomous: If you're not trying to be serious when dealing with me, then let me know, dont do this here today gone tomorrow type of stuff.

Mr. Rico: I am trying to fuck with you, you know about what I have going on. im doing my best to make time I truely am. It might not come off that way but I am.

autonomous: Yeah, well I hear you, you keep telling me that but w/e, you good

Mr. Rico: I know man, Im just saying Im feeling you. Its alot going on.

autonomous: I know, it's just--

Mr. Rico: I just have to do better about showing you. Aye mane, im just having a fucked up week so far. I dont want you to think im tryna play games with you or nothing like that. Thats all imma say right now, and imma call you in a few ok!

autonomous: ...yeah

Am I being too hard on him?
Maybe I should loosen up a lil bit?
Should I?

-au•ton•o•mous

Dating in the City: meet me outside on tenth

Friday. I woke up, showered, cleaned the condo[as you can see], and fixed myself some food. Mostly layed around the condo and tried to catch up on some much needed rest-I rarely ever sleep, i nap. The day came and went for me. A little later in the evening I got a call from my brother telling me he was on his way to work. We talked a lil bit and he suggested that i get out of the house, head down to Blakes and get a few good laughs in. Blakes was free this night-or maybe every night im not sure. So I really had nothing to loose. On my way there I took in the city, this is my home. I love this city the bright lights, fast cars, melting pot of people. This is my home.

Walking up the sidewalk I could see just how long the line was-down the ramp and through the parking lot. Once I finally got inside the fun began. I have no issue with going places alone-im known to take myself on dates, movies, dinner, shopping etc. Even the bar. This was only my second visit to this bar so im not entirely sure about how everything works there, there was a drag show going on downstairs and drinking and palm reading upstairs...lol. I didn't go to the bar in hopes of meeting anyone, I went purely to get a few laughs in and be around people. Although I stayed to myself mostly I had a breif and interesting talk with an older guy who said it was his 43rd birthday that night. He looked really good for his age but didnt act his age, he'd allowed the liquor to get the best of him that night.

Blakes has a mixed crowd, mostly white, some indian, hispanic, asian and few blacks[of all ages] but I think im coming to really fall for this establishment. The one thing i've noticed between the black gay establishments vs the white ones that i've visited is that there is much less pressure at the white establishments. I was able to just go and enjoy the music, I dont drink but there were cheap drinks and happy people. Somewhere between 1:3o && 2:oo a very nice looking young man entered my line of sight. Now I'd noticed him for a split second earlier but the combination of bad lighting and a packed building didnt allow me to really appreciate what i saw. Once we happened to be in the exact same area that was all she wrote. We exchanged the friendly banter that goes along with the pre and post exchange of numbers. Interestingly enough he's [100%]Puerto Rican. I say interestingly because
1: He looks to be mixed, maybe black and puerto rican.
&& 2: I'm an advid lover of black men.

His conversation and mannerisims attracted me to him, it wasnt merely phyiscal. After the lights came on and everyone piled out of the bar we spent a good amount of time talking, slowly walking him to the car && on the way [get this:] two white men approached us, asking us about partying-"scoring some drugs" [sad but true]. So me with my past experiences and my feelings about white people and especially ignorant white people decided against my normal reaction which would have had me acting in not such a good light. I dont allow alot of things to get to me or if I do I dont allow it to show to the general public and I was not about to allow this guy to see me in that light just yet. To my surprise he politely put the guy in his place telling him about himself [as it relates to his very racist preconcieved notion of us having or knowing where to get drugs-becuase we're men of color]. I must say his smooth tongue and our shared thoughts on the matter turned me onto him that much more.

--Saturday: My brother and I headed out to a very lavish party. A big house in a nice area owned by a black man, a gay black man. The house was filled to capasity with handsome && successful gay men of color. It was a side of the gay world that i think would prove to be good for some to see. I mean each one of the four levels was filled with docotrs, lawyers, business owners, dentist, publicist, grad students, fashion house affiliates, successful r&b personalities, && the list goes on.

Mr. P.Rico, he and I texted and talked throughout the day, he has a northern swagga about him-some NYc/New Jersey type of deal. Its cute, I like it, nothing like i've dealt with before. He surprised me though, he texted me when my brother and I were leaving the bar:

Mr. P.Rico: you still out?
autonomous: yeah, what's up?
Mr. P.Rico: come out here, meet me on tenth

Wanted to see me since he and his people were in the area. He's a seemingly sweet guy. Looking foward to kicking it with him. Sometime soon.
Stay Tuned

-au•ton•o•mous

Pull this knife out my back please

Befor reading allow me to direct you to my earlier post on friendship [click here].

I've always been a good friend to my friends. Its something I have prided myself on. Everyone has that one friend that they can call when life gets the best of you, that friend that seems to make things better, or at least a lil more bearable, by telling you the truth and being 'real' with you. That friend was me[I say was-becuase my patience is NOTHING like it used to be]. Where is all this going you might ask..

Well, back in the place i called home prior to Oz I had a friend. She was a nice young lady that id known since middle school. She, like many young black women in steriotypes, is involved with a man who does nothing for her, he cheats, he takes her money all the things that you see in rap videos and in court television shows.
Moving along, she's been in this worthless relationship for years and though i didnt think this man was worth of her love, time or attention i never bad mouthed him. She was my friend && no matter my feelings on the sitiuation you have to allow people to learn and fall on their own. So thats what i did, I didnt want to add to the rest of our friends who left her alone, who abandoned her because of her relationship. She allowed her boyfriend-who is still cheating, to disrespect her even in the faces of our friends. && what did she do...GOT PREGNANT.

Id often hear her say lil comments like "if I get pregnant he'll do better" these comments were always laughed off as a bad joke. I couldnt believe that she'd go and get knocked up by him...Love is a dangerous thing i suspose. As I sit here typing these thoughts as they flow from me, as raw as possible, I reflect over the years of my friendship with this young lady. I can remember how dead beat her boyfriend was, because of this[as well as her and I being good friends] I'd often take it apon myself to help her. Like the times I was the only person who helped her move into her apartments. When i would help her financially when her family turned on her. When I went above and beyond for her simply out of friendship. I went so far as to help her get an apartment when she was pregnant-WHY? Her family turned against her, not offering her any assistance, her boyfriend was a dead beat, it was in the dead of winter, she was kicked out of her home and litterally on the street.

When we got this apt she had a good job, paying well, a long term gig. well I put my trust in our friendship with this one...what happened you ask. Fast Foward>> to Summer of 2007 when I find out this woman has gotten evicted from the apt for non payment, risking fuccing up both our credit history. At the time, I was down here in Oz and she was back in that place that was once home. It took my faith in a higher power and FreeCreditReport.com to calm me down, relax my soul and allow me to forgive her for this fiendish act. An act that she never spoke on, she changed her number and moved into a house. I saw my history was clean so i let it go.

Fast Foward>> once again to my ride on the number 33 today[heading home after an interview for a job I know I got]. My phone rings, its my mother. She asks me if I know anyone on this particular street. I say no...then i think a lil harder and let my mind wonder.. Then I let her know that last I heard, my good old friend moved into a house on that street. Well.. GET THIS FOLKS: There is a Consumers Energy bill in my name for $800.oo, yes you read right eight hundred dollars at that house. So with that I ask you to Pull this knife out my back please.

Attention: So as to protect myself from any incriminating evidence that may spring up as a cause of my anger-motivated actions as it relates to this very aggrivating scenario I will end the story here.

Thank You
-au•ton•o•mous

Dating in the City

Atlanta Ga, I relocated here to for a few specific reasons. For my love of larger cities-me coming from a slightly smaller city, school after highschool, & to help advance my career-building my social calendar one contact at a time. Now these are reasons that i had in mind when i decided back in late 2006 to head down that yellow brick road[75south] into Oz. I have worked my ass off. I have planned everything from how i was getting here, where i would stay, where would my income be coming from, what i would eat, which family members to inform[not eveyone has the greatest advice to give when you decide to do your own thing] but it would seem that because I am a young black male-who enjoys company, both emotional and physical, of men i.e. GAY here in Oz, that everyone believes I have came here for the "overabundance of black gay men"
...smh

Nearly every man that I have met[usually older] makes the most ballsy comments along the affect of: "Oh you in Midtown, thats where all the men at" "Oh you young in atlanta, I know you be at the clubs" "I know you got a bunch of men you talking to"... UGH! I mean seriously, these comments come even after i sit and offer to them a vague overview of one of my five year plans-I refuse to be content with just one plan B. I shake my head at this. I know this is not the consensus of all me here in Oz. When i hear things like this the first thing out of my mouth is usually that there are gay men EVERYWHERE in the world so why would i head to Atlanta just to "find a man" && by the way, who said I was looking for a man? && whats up with no one[male] ever even considering that my attraction is not purely phyiscal-women enter my thoughts and sometimes my line of sight as well.

Dating here in Oz has been an experience to say the least. Key word: DATING. No one seems to be on the same page as I with this one, so allow me to throw a lil bit of myself out there in hopes that we[whomever & I] will be better able to find some form of common ground.

The Art of Dating: Dating is an artform. Being able to spend time with another person, exploring one anothers interest, talents, and company. That being said, sex may or may not be included in this art its entirely up to the dater[s]. [For myself] The purpose of dating is to learn someone as well as yourself, everyone is not going to mesh well with everyone-so you learn alot about yourself in dating. At the end of the day, through my dating experiences, even if we do not end up "in a relationship" I would like to have gained at the least familiar face and not just another unused contact in my phone.

I will say that I am not one for bullshit, I dont take kindly to people who dont live by their word-at times your word is all you have to represent yourself. Alot of conversations have been cut short not to say that im shallow or boujee at all I just refuse to become victim to this idea that all us young black men are the same. We are not!

-au•ton•o•mous

Honey, I'm home!

I touched down in Alanta early last week sometime. Since i've been back my main priority has been searching for and obtaining a job. I must say that i've been doing a pretty damn good job at doing so. I have been living in my slacks, steve maddens and ties-sometimes a bow tie. I have been getting my nutrition from the stacks of my resumes that i have at hand. I have been waking up with my face pressed against my keyboard, with Mr. Craigslist starring me in my face early in the morning. I must admit i have had my moments of feeling discouraged: 'black' man in ameriKKKa without a job. I have, as I always have had, my mother to feed me the words of encouragemet and keep me going. So after these 8 days that have felt more like a few months I may have just ran into a break. So i'm all smiles over this way-deservenly so, might I ad.

--School is cool, but a Career is better...
Although my number one mission has been getting a job, I have been trying to spend time with the few friends I have here in the land of Oz. Friends...an interesting concept. Well I have five friends here that I was in school with. We have all been pursuing our career, chasing our dreams, and grinding hard.... SO I THOUGHT. Since ive been back I have noticed that not everyone is stepping up to the plate. This is something that i knew..but I just assumed that since I am serious about the words i speak into my life, that everyone els would be as well...NOT! I have changed that original number of five friends to three. Why? This was done because I don't associate myself, intentionally, with people who are not doing anything with life. Especially my people of color. It gets to me when i see young black men and women sitting around accomplishing nothing. I say this becauase I have been living under the old words: blacks have to work twice as hard as our white counterparts just to be seen as half as good. We have enough steriotypes floating around about us, and new ones surfacing daily[thanks ameriKKKan media]. So i hate seeing people proving these true. Especially people who call themselve my friends.
I am working on something big-ME, the future. The relationships i have now has got to be able to benefit me in the future. Im not sure if I sound shallow to some but I could care less at this point. I have some successes under my belt, but I will not allow them to have me walking around like I've made it already. So thats why I have changed that number to THREE from five. If im out here grinding, trying to make my name known and putting in the work why wouldnt I expect the same from the company I keep? The sad thing about the sitiuation is that the two that i have let go are smart, beautiful, talented BLACK women. Who happen to also be Lazy and filled with excuses, looking for handouts..handouts that I am just NOT willing to give...

-au•ton•o•mous

&& then he said

au•ton•o•mous

Pronunciation: (ô-ton'u-mus), [key]—adj.
1. Govt.
a. self-governing; independent; subject to its own laws only.
b. pertaining to an autonomy.
2. having autonomy; not subject to control from outside; independent: a subsidiary that functioned as an autonomous unit.
3. Biol.
a. existing and functioning as an independent organism.
b. spontaneous